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This is me. The me that only a select few know without having to have a link or URL. If you are afraid of what I may say or feel then you can go and never come back. I will not curb my honesty...
Thursday, January 29, 2004
ok the plan is...there is no plan
My dearest Angel has volunteered her place of residence as the home of our valentines(on friday the 13th) gathering...so we're going to all assemble there and make this work...oh yea...we have a special guest for this gathering...FLOOFY CAN COME!...so yea...lets make this work please!
When: friday the 13th of febuary...umm...i guess the actual time needs to be figured out by Ana and the Queen
Where: I don't think I should put Ana's address up here...most of us know where it is and you can IM me and I'd gladly tell ya (only if you're invited of course...I'm not sure exactly who is on the list so IM me if you don't know and I'll clearify)
What:...are you serious?...a valentines gathering...which will be pretty much a gathering like any other...we'll probably end up watching a movie or playing some board games or something...I'm open to suggestions
Who:...uhh...well if you got an invitation you're in...if not...then IM...i figure most anyone that reads this should've gotten an invite but i may have forgotten...
alrighty...any questions?...do the smart thing IM me
When: friday the 13th of febuary...umm...i guess the actual time needs to be figured out by Ana and the Queen
Where: I don't think I should put Ana's address up here...most of us know where it is and you can IM me and I'd gladly tell ya (only if you're invited of course...I'm not sure exactly who is on the list so IM me if you don't know and I'll clearify)
What:...are you serious?...a valentines gathering...which will be pretty much a gathering like any other...we'll probably end up watching a movie or playing some board games or something...I'm open to suggestions
Who:...uhh...well if you got an invitation you're in...if not...then IM...i figure most anyone that reads this should've gotten an invite but i may have forgotten...
alrighty...any questions?...do the smart thing IM me
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Ten days of the dust settling
That title just means that its been ten days...I dunno where that dust is coming from but its around *sneezes* my house is a dust trap. So a small recap then huh? school has been amazingly fun! I have no idea what happened but I absolutly love this semester. The classes seem easier and my stress has just plummeted but rather than be mellow like I was last semester, I'm really hyper and only working on a few small problems at a time now (there are no big ones for ME to worry about unless someone wants to share their problems but most everyone seems pretty happy as well...or I'm just not paying enough attention...oops). SO fast-forward to friday afternoon...I think it was friday afternoon...I dunno my mind is always outta whack and I went to Ana's like three days this week but yea thats where I think I was. We had fun, Watched Escaflowne, danced and wrestled(literally wrestled...no perverted context intended). On Saturday I got to go to the mall with my cousin(17 year-old anthony...a couple kidney stones have met him...I know SB has ;-)) and Dilly. We played in the arcade where me and Ant were embarassed to no end when we got on the DDR and tried warming up on standard...but there was this one guy there that did like every song on some super high level (heavy or above) and always ended with a 300 combo...I almost cried it was like seeing God or something. Then we drove over to Dillon's house and crashed with the N64 for a long time. We played goldeneye and supersmash bros. and knife edge and mariocart and hexen and...I think thats it....but I brought more games than that. Chris came over after a little while and we played with him. At around 7 we killed the N64 and played darts(I suck at it). Then Ant gave me a ride back to his place around 8. I stayed at his house and rented Armour Core: Silent Line. We played that for a good 16 hours over sunday and monday(snow is good for the soul!) we also played a board game called Scene It? which kicks ass but I still can't quite explain. After we played one extended rounds of that (lasting 4 hours) we watched Underworld from 11-1am and then we went back downstairs and played more AC. Its a good time to be a monarchy vegetable(if anyone understands that you should be shot). Now I'm home and going through withdrawl from not being able to see my angel and I'm plotting how to do that as I type...speaking of plotting...we need to have a gathering on feb 13-15 to celebrate the hallmark holiday of valentines. I'm kinda assuming that valentines day itself(saturday the 14th) is gonna work into some peoples oh-so-romantic plans so 13 or 15 is probably when we're gonna have to do it...but people must start making plans!
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Boredom and Surveys!
firstly(is that a word?) I want to thank everyone for their wonderful comments that you left after reading my little bit of story. Since it is Your comments that help me to identify my strengths and weaknesses as a writer to help myself grow. So thank you once again for the comments...OH WAIT I DIDN'T GET ANY!
mhmm...I'm obsessed with these silly online surveys for no reason whatsoever...most of them repeat the same questions over and over anyways...this one has some 8-) questions to it though...probably because I stole it from the oh-so-cool Anna!...but here we go!
***Personal Stuff***
1) Full Name: Damien Acryllius Magnus *falls over and switching back to James* hmm?...oh james or dave will due
2) Single or Taken: Given
3) Birthday: May2...but there will be no celebration
4) Sign: Taurus...I dunno what thats supposed to mean about me but for some reason I don't like being referred to as a bull that swallowed 7 daughters
5) Siblings: 1 and 1/2 sisters(Kelly is 23 and 4'11" hehe...shes my fave though!) and one brother that I would've forgotten existed by now were it not for the messes that he leaves all over the house for the hour or so that he is home
6) Hair Colour: umm...dark brown...used to be almost black but this is fine with me...I'd look bad with blakc hair anyways
7) Eye Colour: umm...what did they call it...'Puppy-eyes-brown' yea...thats it
8) Shoe Size/Height: I can't help but wonder why the hell this would be in here?...does someone know a formula for guys maybe? it doesn't work and I can tell you that right now...us Italians defy the logic of your stupid formulas! oh...yea...9.5-10.5 depending on the day and 5'4"
9) Age: 15...yea...I'm 15 right?
****Relationships *****
1) Who are your bestest(if there is such a word) friends in the whole wide
world?: The kidney...every last one of you crazies
2) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nah...I've got royalty ;-)
3) Did you send this to your crush: I'm just gonna delete this question after I post this...so none of you will really know if i deleted it or not! BWWWWWAAAAHAHAHA!
4) Did your crush send this to you?: *fangy grins*...I just felt like doing that...if vampi-chan read this she would know why but her stupid comp doesnt let her!
**** Stuff****
1) Where is your favorite place to shop? erm...I don't really shop too much at hottopic or spencers since I never have any money to get the realy cool stuff like finger armour or some kind of strappy shirt/pants which are always like $743981478123...but I love just sitting in there and wishing I could have the stuff
2) Any tattoos or piercings?: ear...the left one incase you were wondering
**** Stuff 2****
1) Do you Take drugs?: no...just no
2) What kind of shampoo do you use?: lets see...its one of those 2-in-1 thingys...St. Ives...and anyone that wants to tell me that its just for girls can go to hell or feel my hair and tell me if it was worth it
3) What kind of conditioner do you use?:...and then if you stillllll feel that I'm crazy for doing that I'll hunt you down like the dog that you are and GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!...wooooo thats fun!
4) What are you most scared of?: sleep and history repeating itself
5) What are you listening to right now?: the beats of my sub-urban lifestyle (aka my computer humming and the dishwasher/washing machine in the laundry room
6) What car do you wish to have?: don't care just as long as it looks decent and gets good mileage and all that stuff
7) Who is the last person that called you?: I dunno...I just woke up
8) Where do you want to get married?: me?...*voice cracks* mArried?!?! oo000ooo no no no no marriage leads to arguments and kids and I like neither
9) How many messenger buddies do you have right now?: less than your average goofball but more than I should
10)If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?: *writes a thesis in counter factual form* umm...I guess as far as physically I'd like to solve my acne problems...but overall...I wish I could be less negetive
**** Favorites****
1) Color: If you've ever seen me at school you can answer that yourself...RAINBOW OF COURSE! *cracks up* I've got these psychodelic M&M boxers! I wore em last night and realized that I had every colour of the rainbow in my pants!
2) Whats your fav. food?: 7 oz. petite serloin cooked medium rare and with my combo of marinades and spices...and chicken wings(they can't be regular and boring...they need to be BBQ or spicy or something!)...and ummm...ribs! ooo00000000oooooo yesh I *heart* ribs especially the ones at Sparks Sports Bar
3) Boy's name: Damien...really needed to ask?
4) Girl's name: something exotic...Iris...Jade...Fayth...Rayven
5) Subjects in school: Science courses rock my socks but acting kicks ass too!
6) Animals: reptiles...they're pretty and cool and can do all kinds of neat stuff...and best of all...THEY EAT RODENTS!
7) Game(s): I play most any videogame except the stupid ones like sports games orgames where you don't have to think in the least
*** Have you ever****
1) Given anyone a bath: I've been babysitting a group of kids since they were just bearly two...kinda part of the job description
2) Smoked: Anna is right...it is a very disgusting thing
3) Bungee jumped: nope...I'd sky dive first...why? because if things mess up while you bungee jump there is a chance you'll just be crippled or go through the most painful experience of your life...things mess up with skydiving and you've only got a minute or so to regret it
4) Broken law: *cracks up* you're kidding
5) Made yourself throw-up: hmmm...nope...dont think so
6) Gone skinny-dipping?: O:-)
7) Ever been in love: depends on the kind your talking about...and I'm just a teen so I doubt I've ever felt the stereotype of "true love (like OMG I LOVE THIS PERSON SO MUCH I'M GONNA KILL OFF MY FALCON TO FEED THEM WHEN THE FLACON IS THE ONLY REASON THEY PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME!...hehe JEN KNOWS!)"
8) Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: When I was younger I bet I tried that...once...and I reaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyy doubt it worked...in fact I probably got hit for it
***Final Questions***bout bloody time
1) Do you like filling these out: Yea...I guess so...I'm bored and I don't have much else to do until I wake up!
2) How many people are you sending this to?: lets see...umm...one company or person or thingy...blogger.com
3) Who will send it back: no one
4) Chocolate or Vanilla: white chocolate swirld with vanilla...I don't think I've ever seen it but it should SOOOOOOOOOo exist
5) Gold or Silver: silver has a darker shine to it while gold, with its colour, is something that is hard for me to match...plus silver is just sooo cooool
6) What is the last film you saw at the cinema?: I dunno...my mind is all outta whack...It was peter pan I think...or LOTR3...or maybe.......
7) Favorite Cartoon Character: wolfwood!
8) What do you have for breakfast in the morning?: ummm...breakfast?
9) Who would you hate being locked in a room with?: anyone that talks forever...It'd be nice to have conversation but if they ramble about the way the world turns then only one of us is coming out of the room alive...but the dead one will come out first because I'll use their body to break down the locked door
10) Who would you love being locked in a room with?: lets see...locked...in a room...with no one else...but the two of us...you guys know how my mind works...you go ahead and put two and two together....hehe O:-)
well hey that was fun that was easy I should do it again sometime...and for the sake of all that is good in this world LEAVE A COMMENT!
mhmm...I'm obsessed with these silly online surveys for no reason whatsoever...most of them repeat the same questions over and over anyways...this one has some 8-) questions to it though...probably because I stole it from the oh-so-cool Anna!...but here we go!
***Personal Stuff***
1) Full Name: Damien Acryllius Magnus *falls over and switching back to James* hmm?...oh james or dave will due
2) Single or Taken: Given
3) Birthday: May2...but there will be no celebration
4) Sign: Taurus...I dunno what thats supposed to mean about me but for some reason I don't like being referred to as a bull that swallowed 7 daughters
5) Siblings: 1 and 1/2 sisters(Kelly is 23 and 4'11" hehe...shes my fave though!) and one brother that I would've forgotten existed by now were it not for the messes that he leaves all over the house for the hour or so that he is home
6) Hair Colour: umm...dark brown...used to be almost black but this is fine with me...I'd look bad with blakc hair anyways
7) Eye Colour: umm...what did they call it...'Puppy-eyes-brown' yea...thats it
8) Shoe Size/Height: I can't help but wonder why the hell this would be in here?...does someone know a formula for guys maybe? it doesn't work and I can tell you that right now...us Italians defy the logic of your stupid formulas! oh...yea...9.5-10.5 depending on the day and 5'4"
9) Age: 15...yea...I'm 15 right?
****Relationships *****
1) Who are your bestest(if there is such a word) friends in the whole wide
world?: The kidney...every last one of you crazies
2) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nah...I've got royalty ;-)
3) Did you send this to your crush: I'm just gonna delete this question after I post this...so none of you will really know if i deleted it or not! BWWWWWAAAAHAHAHA!
4) Did your crush send this to you?: *fangy grins*...I just felt like doing that...if vampi-chan read this she would know why but her stupid comp doesnt let her!
**** Stuff****
1) Where is your favorite place to shop? erm...I don't really shop too much at hottopic or spencers since I never have any money to get the realy cool stuff like finger armour or some kind of strappy shirt/pants which are always like $743981478123...but I love just sitting in there and wishing I could have the stuff
2) Any tattoos or piercings?: ear...the left one incase you were wondering
**** Stuff 2****
1) Do you Take drugs?: no...just no
2) What kind of shampoo do you use?: lets see...its one of those 2-in-1 thingys...St. Ives...and anyone that wants to tell me that its just for girls can go to hell or feel my hair and tell me if it was worth it
3) What kind of conditioner do you use?:...and then if you stillllll feel that I'm crazy for doing that I'll hunt you down like the dog that you are and GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!...wooooo thats fun!
4) What are you most scared of?: sleep and history repeating itself
5) What are you listening to right now?: the beats of my sub-urban lifestyle (aka my computer humming and the dishwasher/washing machine in the laundry room
6) What car do you wish to have?: don't care just as long as it looks decent and gets good mileage and all that stuff
7) Who is the last person that called you?: I dunno...I just woke up
8) Where do you want to get married?: me?...*voice cracks* mArried?!?! oo000ooo no no no no marriage leads to arguments and kids and I like neither
9) How many messenger buddies do you have right now?: less than your average goofball but more than I should
10)If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?: *writes a thesis in counter factual form* umm...I guess as far as physically I'd like to solve my acne problems...but overall...I wish I could be less negetive
**** Favorites****
1) Color: If you've ever seen me at school you can answer that yourself...RAINBOW OF COURSE! *cracks up* I've got these psychodelic M&M boxers! I wore em last night and realized that I had every colour of the rainbow in my pants!
2) Whats your fav. food?: 7 oz. petite serloin cooked medium rare and with my combo of marinades and spices...and chicken wings(they can't be regular and boring...they need to be BBQ or spicy or something!)...and ummm...ribs! ooo00000000oooooo yesh I *heart* ribs especially the ones at Sparks Sports Bar
3) Boy's name: Damien...really needed to ask?
4) Girl's name: something exotic...Iris...Jade...Fayth...Rayven
5) Subjects in school: Science courses rock my socks but acting kicks ass too!
6) Animals: reptiles...they're pretty and cool and can do all kinds of neat stuff...and best of all...THEY EAT RODENTS!
7) Game(s): I play most any videogame except the stupid ones like sports games orgames where you don't have to think in the least
*** Have you ever****
1) Given anyone a bath: I've been babysitting a group of kids since they were just bearly two...kinda part of the job description
2) Smoked: Anna is right...it is a very disgusting thing
3) Bungee jumped: nope...I'd sky dive first...why? because if things mess up while you bungee jump there is a chance you'll just be crippled or go through the most painful experience of your life...things mess up with skydiving and you've only got a minute or so to regret it
4) Broken law: *cracks up* you're kidding
5) Made yourself throw-up: hmmm...nope...dont think so
6) Gone skinny-dipping?: O:-)
7) Ever been in love: depends on the kind your talking about...and I'm just a teen so I doubt I've ever felt the stereotype of "true love (like OMG I LOVE THIS PERSON SO MUCH I'M GONNA KILL OFF MY FALCON TO FEED THEM WHEN THE FLACON IS THE ONLY REASON THEY PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME!...hehe JEN KNOWS!)"
8) Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: When I was younger I bet I tried that...once...and I reaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyy doubt it worked...in fact I probably got hit for it
***Final Questions***bout bloody time
1) Do you like filling these out: Yea...I guess so...I'm bored and I don't have much else to do until I wake up!
2) How many people are you sending this to?: lets see...umm...one company or person or thingy...blogger.com
3) Who will send it back: no one
4) Chocolate or Vanilla: white chocolate swirld with vanilla...I don't think I've ever seen it but it should SOOOOOOOOOo exist
5) Gold or Silver: silver has a darker shine to it while gold, with its colour, is something that is hard for me to match...plus silver is just sooo cooool
6) What is the last film you saw at the cinema?: I dunno...my mind is all outta whack...It was peter pan I think...or LOTR3...or maybe.......
7) Favorite Cartoon Character: wolfwood!
8) What do you have for breakfast in the morning?: ummm...breakfast?
9) Who would you hate being locked in a room with?: anyone that talks forever...It'd be nice to have conversation but if they ramble about the way the world turns then only one of us is coming out of the room alive...but the dead one will come out first because I'll use their body to break down the locked door
10) Who would you love being locked in a room with?: lets see...locked...in a room...with no one else...but the two of us...you guys know how my mind works...you go ahead and put two and two together....hehe O:-)
well hey that was fun that was easy I should do it again sometime...and for the sake of all that is good in this world LEAVE A COMMENT!
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Storytime!
I have started writing again...I wrote a short story yesterday and then I wrote a short story segment...I kinda liked the segment...I can post that here can't I?...o00ooo wow look at it in all its splendor!
How dare they treat me like that! A boy thought as he slammed the front door of his cozy sub-urban home and stormed down the street. He fumed with rage while he pondered his most recent argument with his parents that he didn’t even notice the footsteps behind him.
“There is a serial killer on the loose. You may want to return home before they find you.” Said a woman, only feet behind the boy in a very cool voice. The boy whirled around and looked at the woman in surprise.
“Yeah, I heard about ‘em. It would serve my parents right if I die.” He spat back to the woman whose gaze changed from blank to curious.
“You would be willing to risk death just to spite those that gave you life?” she beckoned of him and then continuing without his response, “I will grant you that wish then; your parents will suffer the rest of their days and blame themselves for your death.” The boy began to turn around but only to be stabbed in the left side. The steel had hit a rib and did not do any lethal damage but the boy fell with a shout. His attacker rolled him onto his back and drew another blade. He tried to resist her but she was uncommonly powerful for a woman her size.
She easily straddled him and pinned his arms to the pavement beneath them. He still struggled against her finally freeing one arm that she immediately had in her grasp again.
“I can’t have you fighting me all night so…” she plunged the second dagger into his shoulder, slicing through the muscles that control it and his arm fell limp as he screamed again. She inhaled sharply, closing her eyes and smiling a wry smile like a woman in pleasure. The boy was now holding his bleeding side with his good arm and crying weak shrieks of help. The woman opened her eyes again quickly with what seemed to be sheen of red over them and leaned closely against the boy. When her face was uncomfortably close to his own was the first time she actually noticed his age,
“You’re not much older than 14, are you?” she asked in disbelief.
“F-f-fifteen next week.” He managed to respond between his whimpers of pain. She leaned closer and kissed his forehead.
“Then I’ll spare you the full retribution of your actions seeing as how you have yet to live.” She stood up slowly over him, still looking down into his petrified face but with gentler eyes. The boy blinked away some of the tears that now blurred his vision and she was gone. His blood had begun to form a stream flowing to the sewer drains. His eyelids slowly closed and blackness engulfed his last thought, I’m sorry mom.
How dare they treat me like that! A boy thought as he slammed the front door of his cozy sub-urban home and stormed down the street. He fumed with rage while he pondered his most recent argument with his parents that he didn’t even notice the footsteps behind him.
“There is a serial killer on the loose. You may want to return home before they find you.” Said a woman, only feet behind the boy in a very cool voice. The boy whirled around and looked at the woman in surprise.
“Yeah, I heard about ‘em. It would serve my parents right if I die.” He spat back to the woman whose gaze changed from blank to curious.
“You would be willing to risk death just to spite those that gave you life?” she beckoned of him and then continuing without his response, “I will grant you that wish then; your parents will suffer the rest of their days and blame themselves for your death.” The boy began to turn around but only to be stabbed in the left side. The steel had hit a rib and did not do any lethal damage but the boy fell with a shout. His attacker rolled him onto his back and drew another blade. He tried to resist her but she was uncommonly powerful for a woman her size.
She easily straddled him and pinned his arms to the pavement beneath them. He still struggled against her finally freeing one arm that she immediately had in her grasp again.
“I can’t have you fighting me all night so…” she plunged the second dagger into his shoulder, slicing through the muscles that control it and his arm fell limp as he screamed again. She inhaled sharply, closing her eyes and smiling a wry smile like a woman in pleasure. The boy was now holding his bleeding side with his good arm and crying weak shrieks of help. The woman opened her eyes again quickly with what seemed to be sheen of red over them and leaned closely against the boy. When her face was uncomfortably close to his own was the first time she actually noticed his age,
“You’re not much older than 14, are you?” she asked in disbelief.
“F-f-fifteen next week.” He managed to respond between his whimpers of pain. She leaned closer and kissed his forehead.
“Then I’ll spare you the full retribution of your actions seeing as how you have yet to live.” She stood up slowly over him, still looking down into his petrified face but with gentler eyes. The boy blinked away some of the tears that now blurred his vision and she was gone. His blood had begun to form a stream flowing to the sewer drains. His eyelids slowly closed and blackness engulfed his last thought, I’m sorry mom.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
OK so I lied
hehe well I think I mayyyyyyyy come back to this blog...I'm in comp apps 2 right now and bored out of my mind so I figure that I might as well update my school week.
...SCHOOL HAS FINALLY BEGUN! I'm so happy I almost hate leaving the school. My classes are awesome and I'm gonna have lots of fun this semester. Yesterday I got to be another lost puppy and follow Ana home *smirks* we finished watching Zoolander which actually scared the hell out of me at one point (the danceoff for those of you that have seen it) and then we went upstairs...All the sleep I lost during break is making it really easy for me to get tired at school now so I'm having a blast being able to go to sleep anytime now...I had a really weird dream the other night...seems like everyone has been having those...must have something to do with being back so...my dream...
It started out with a TV screen...a really old TV screen and it turns on and since it was so old it flickered a whole bunch but its picture was like a plasma screen...was pretty nifty...but when it turned on it showed me a green pasture and then it flickered again and there was suddenly the skeletons of two cows eating grass...and then it did like a powerpoint transition and the veins came from the left and right then it flickered again and the muscles covered them and finally the skin...they started mooing happily(i guess b/c they were whole) but then they screamed like a cow would...just really scared moos really...and they melted.......does anyone know the symbolism behind that one? then the screen flickered again and I was somewhere else...the screen was gone...I was walking through the halls of my middle school but it was altered it was an oddly long hallways that led to a flight of stairs leading down to a dungeon classroom...then it fast forwarded a bit and it showed me and the teacher arguing...the teacher was a stereotype of satan(red skin and horns and all) and they got mad at me and fried Megan...but I lost control and continued arguing with the teacher and he killed everyone...one by one you all died by being burned alive...Eventually the classroom turned black from cinders and ashes of friends...the aura was so dark and cold...Satan disappeared when I got control of myself again and then I fell...I don't know if I fell on my knees and cried or if I fell into somekind of abyss but I remember falling before I woke up...kinda hard to shake the feeling of watching your friends die...*sighs* really scared the hell outta me...ya know how dreams you know aren't real but it still effects you?...I had that for the first half hour I was up...
...and right now I think I'm bored with life...nothing is really wrong and I think that I have just about anything I could possibly wish for...but there is a gap...I have a wonderful gf, amazing friends, an ok schoolastic career, and even my family life has calmed down...I guess this is what I wished for but I feel like there is just one thing missing for me to be truly happy...I don't know what it is though...Matt says it might be that my soul is starved of spirituality since I don't beleive in a God or any religion really...he says I need "soul food"...so...what the hell do you feed a soul?...anybody have any ideas for this thingy?...I'm so lost
...SCHOOL HAS FINALLY BEGUN! I'm so happy I almost hate leaving the school. My classes are awesome and I'm gonna have lots of fun this semester. Yesterday I got to be another lost puppy and follow Ana home *smirks* we finished watching Zoolander which actually scared the hell out of me at one point (the danceoff for those of you that have seen it) and then we went upstairs...All the sleep I lost during break is making it really easy for me to get tired at school now so I'm having a blast being able to go to sleep anytime now...I had a really weird dream the other night...seems like everyone has been having those...must have something to do with being back so...my dream...
It started out with a TV screen...a really old TV screen and it turns on and since it was so old it flickered a whole bunch but its picture was like a plasma screen...was pretty nifty...but when it turned on it showed me a green pasture and then it flickered again and there was suddenly the skeletons of two cows eating grass...and then it did like a powerpoint transition and the veins came from the left and right then it flickered again and the muscles covered them and finally the skin...they started mooing happily(i guess b/c they were whole) but then they screamed like a cow would...just really scared moos really...and they melted.......does anyone know the symbolism behind that one? then the screen flickered again and I was somewhere else...the screen was gone...I was walking through the halls of my middle school but it was altered it was an oddly long hallways that led to a flight of stairs leading down to a dungeon classroom...then it fast forwarded a bit and it showed me and the teacher arguing...the teacher was a stereotype of satan(red skin and horns and all) and they got mad at me and fried Megan...but I lost control and continued arguing with the teacher and he killed everyone...one by one you all died by being burned alive...Eventually the classroom turned black from cinders and ashes of friends...the aura was so dark and cold...Satan disappeared when I got control of myself again and then I fell...I don't know if I fell on my knees and cried or if I fell into somekind of abyss but I remember falling before I woke up...kinda hard to shake the feeling of watching your friends die...*sighs* really scared the hell outta me...ya know how dreams you know aren't real but it still effects you?...I had that for the first half hour I was up...
...and right now I think I'm bored with life...nothing is really wrong and I think that I have just about anything I could possibly wish for...but there is a gap...I have a wonderful gf, amazing friends, an ok schoolastic career, and even my family life has calmed down...I guess this is what I wished for but I feel like there is just one thing missing for me to be truly happy...I don't know what it is though...Matt says it might be that my soul is starved of spirituality since I don't beleive in a God or any religion really...he says I need "soul food"...so...what the hell do you feed a soul?...anybody have any ideas for this thingy?...I'm so lost