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This is me. The me that only a select few know without having to have a link or URL. If you are afraid of what I may say or feel then you can go and never come back. I will not curb my honesty...
Sunday, February 29, 2004
update 2.0!
I spent my weekend the way I'd like to spend every weekend except for one huge change...I WANNA SEE ALIANA! I miss her so much and I hate the fact that she is gorunded. I'm ready to snap and kidnap her right now but I know I get to see her tomorrow so I'm hanging on to that little thread of hope. I wonder how it is that I fall apart so quickly when I'm not around her for a few days and people like Megan can go weeks without seeing their bf/gf...IT BOGGLES THE MIND!
SO while I was wasting away and pining for my Goop I did have a very distracting weekend. friday I realized that I had spent my entire week being out of it and sedated so I decided to be very very hyper.....so much so that I called Rachel and talk with her while pacing my house and doing all kinds of weird things (like throw myself into a door) it was very fun but the hyper activity didn't stop there. I went to Zachs for a poorly planned but highly entertaining gathering. We got Stevo, Katie, Megan, and jill over there to watch LXG (which I lovvvvveeeeeee!) and I got a little too hyper and started tickling people while throwing them over the couch...I think everyone had a good time there.
Yesterday I had a party to go to where I went a little insane because I was one of 4 (teenage) guys there and we had plenty of female company...I finally bit some peopel and I got to "dance" for a little too...I was also voted most likely to be on thecover of a tabloid while I was there. That was sooooooooooooo mcuh fun I wish I could elaboarte but most of it was a "you had to be there" kinda thing. I spent the majority of yesterday rotting at home and talking online.
Today was an interesting day...I started out by waking up nice and late(10) and helping my dad sort through some things upstair...I think we're slowly throwing out our entire attic. We fixed my telescope and realized that we couldn't see inside anyones bedroom window because of the daylight glare *smirks* my dad is so cool! and then we found some pictures...something weird happened then and I don't wanna talk about it here...its just that personal...but then we did some driving and I decided to re-read the entire harry potter series (I'm on book 3 now...I realized today that I read quite quickly whne I'm really bored and I want to read) and then we ate dinner (cocoa had a seziure...that'll ruin your appetite) and me and my dad played scrabble. Its kinda funny that one turn we can play "vouge" and the next word is "beer" I love to see how diverse me and my dads vocabualries are.
On another happy note I'm feeling much better now that I'm hyper again and I'm looking forward to tomorrow (mostly because of an ominous IM I received that warned me about a great day tomorrow) I've had a great weekend and I feel like I can take on the world! and this feeling will last just until 1st period when Cooper looks me in teh eye and decides that there was some kind of homework I should've known about...but ya know what...I don't give a dman right now...I'm happy so teh bald headed pervert can go to hell *beams* you guys gotta try this!...its called APATHY!
SO while I was wasting away and pining for my Goop I did have a very distracting weekend. friday I realized that I had spent my entire week being out of it and sedated so I decided to be very very hyper.....so much so that I called Rachel and talk with her while pacing my house and doing all kinds of weird things (like throw myself into a door) it was very fun but the hyper activity didn't stop there. I went to Zachs for a poorly planned but highly entertaining gathering. We got Stevo, Katie, Megan, and jill over there to watch LXG (which I lovvvvveeeeeee!) and I got a little too hyper and started tickling people while throwing them over the couch...I think everyone had a good time there.
Yesterday I had a party to go to where I went a little insane because I was one of 4 (teenage) guys there and we had plenty of female company...I finally bit some peopel and I got to "dance" for a little too...I was also voted most likely to be on thecover of a tabloid while I was there. That was sooooooooooooo mcuh fun I wish I could elaboarte but most of it was a "you had to be there" kinda thing. I spent the majority of yesterday rotting at home and talking online.
Today was an interesting day...I started out by waking up nice and late(10) and helping my dad sort through some things upstair...I think we're slowly throwing out our entire attic. We fixed my telescope and realized that we couldn't see inside anyones bedroom window because of the daylight glare *smirks* my dad is so cool! and then we found some pictures...something weird happened then and I don't wanna talk about it here...its just that personal...but then we did some driving and I decided to re-read the entire harry potter series (I'm on book 3 now...I realized today that I read quite quickly whne I'm really bored and I want to read) and then we ate dinner (cocoa had a seziure...that'll ruin your appetite) and me and my dad played scrabble. Its kinda funny that one turn we can play "vouge" and the next word is "beer" I love to see how diverse me and my dads vocabualries are.
On another happy note I'm feeling much better now that I'm hyper again and I'm looking forward to tomorrow (mostly because of an ominous IM I received that warned me about a great day tomorrow) I've had a great weekend and I feel like I can take on the world! and this feeling will last just until 1st period when Cooper looks me in teh eye and decides that there was some kind of homework I should've known about...but ya know what...I don't give a dman right now...I'm happy so teh bald headed pervert can go to hell *beams* you guys gotta try this!...its called APATHY!
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Revelations...yea right...like I was ever high enough to write a book like that!
Mhmm...I would have never written Revelations the way it was written but that may just be because I'm an "ignorant atheist that can't possibly understand" and hey that may be true but I think I can follow the bible well enough and why am I still on this topic I didn't wanna blog about this
I had an experience last night that left me rather...sick....I realized that I've totally forgotten the lessons I taught myself and I've become a bad person because of it. I managed to forget so many things and most/worst of all I think I will never be able to remember them all. I forgot how to define myself and I am beginning to get lost in all kinds of stories that my exterior has written. That makes a load of sense huh? how about this...I've always prided myself on being me and not giving a damn if people thought otherwise and now I've been exposed to situations where my personality is not considered a good thing. This main situation is one that will continue to occur and I want it to continue to occur too because with it comes such wonderful things but in the situation I cannot be myself until my lies work for me. I don't like that and I don't like lying to people that don't deserve it.
Ok so my second attempt at making sense also failed horribly. So I'm gonna change subjects...I realized something else last night...I've always said Ana was too good for me. I still do but I had this kind of moment where I realized just how much better she is.
-There is of course the fact that she is one of the most beautiful girls in school and I phsyically leave much to be desired
-She is so pure...alright she is a pervert but her personality has no shadow to it...no morbidity...no background of unpleasentness(I'm pretty sure I've got just about all of those). Just that same token smile that she can flash at random...which brings me to the next thing.
-She has a token smile...but so does everyone...a simple smile that you can flash at people but she has a real smile that no one can see unless they've earned it and when you do see that hidden smile its like watching the gates of heaven open before you and all you can feel is happy and longing for this moment to last. I have no smile like that...I have little flashes of fangs, smirks, grins, and little symbols I use to convince people that I am happy...when I am truly happy I have no such smile
-Her family....ok I'm not gonna linger too much on the family because in my opinion mine is better(thats kinda weird but you gotta defend what is yours right?) but hers is so much more....dignified, intelligent, cultured, quiet, calm.......I could go on and ong about teh differences in our families...I might do that one day *smirks* but they have all these qualities that I wish I could say I got from my family. We're loud, violent, street smart, socially approachable, and far from dignified!
-She could do no wrong...whenever she does something wrong like insults a friend or someone just out of jest she always catches herself by saying something like "Oh that was mean! Bad Ana!" and instantly she apoligizes...and thats just comical to my conscience who hasn't spoken to me in years.
-She is smart although she would like to trick herself into thinking that she is nothing special mentally she can do much more than she gives herself credit for(even in math!)
I've compared myself to her and I can't see why she likes me...actually I'm not sure why many people like me but the rest of you can be my slaves I'm talking about Ana now! *cracks up* oh yea I can see that now I've got a psychic beacon in my closet that has the control of people so they have no choice but to like me.......I like that plan! *starts building a psychic beacon* now where was I? right so I love Ana and I can't beleive I haven't appriciated her more and that about all I'm gonna say on this topic without making you readers out there blush.
Dillon has inspired me to write an alternet ending to the grand ol book Blood and Chocolate...by....uhh...*too lazy to go get book* umm...yea the title is enough! because no one ever really likes that ending but they accept it because its the only logical way for it to end...and logic isn't my department now is it?
Life has been pretty boring around the kidney lately since no one (with a blog/blurty that I give a damn about) seems to be in some kind of crazy insane situation that they need the help of the entire kidney to help them...I would say that I miss those days but now I look back on the stress and the agitation and I think I prefer being bored though i'm not sure yet...i know Jen and Anna would say "SHUT UP DAVEY YOU'LL JYNX THE PEACE!" those poor kids have enough on their plates as far as school and stuff.
Since this is my blog and this entry has lost the stuff that I was going to write about I'm NOW going to do random thoughts....
I was once called a mysterious, dangerous, lost puppy...*waits for the howls of laughter to die down form the peanut gallery* the person that said this said that it was these that made me attractive...right now I'm just a puppy...I used to be mytserious but now I'll tell you anything you want to know if you ask the right questions through the right method of communication (ex: don't ask me why I've got white hairs over AIM)...I used to be dangerous....you know how long its been since I've bitten anyone?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually kinda miss that...and I haven't fought in years...*chops off dustins head with a machete and jumps around throwing purple confetti* I'm still dangerous sure but I don't give off that dangerous aura...and lost...well I was definitly lost but now I've got my friends...the kidney is where I belong and I wouldn't have it any other way............so let me ask the blog readers...do I have some kind of appeal left?...I'm just in a very sudden moment of strangely low self-esteem and I could use some reassurance so just humor me huh?.......this has been Psycho Dave reporting have a good eveing 0:-)
I had an experience last night that left me rather...sick....I realized that I've totally forgotten the lessons I taught myself and I've become a bad person because of it. I managed to forget so many things and most/worst of all I think I will never be able to remember them all. I forgot how to define myself and I am beginning to get lost in all kinds of stories that my exterior has written. That makes a load of sense huh? how about this...I've always prided myself on being me and not giving a damn if people thought otherwise and now I've been exposed to situations where my personality is not considered a good thing. This main situation is one that will continue to occur and I want it to continue to occur too because with it comes such wonderful things but in the situation I cannot be myself until my lies work for me. I don't like that and I don't like lying to people that don't deserve it.
Ok so my second attempt at making sense also failed horribly. So I'm gonna change subjects...I realized something else last night...I've always said Ana was too good for me. I still do but I had this kind of moment where I realized just how much better she is.
-There is of course the fact that she is one of the most beautiful girls in school and I phsyically leave much to be desired
-She is so pure...alright she is a pervert but her personality has no shadow to it...no morbidity...no background of unpleasentness(I'm pretty sure I've got just about all of those). Just that same token smile that she can flash at random...which brings me to the next thing.
-She has a token smile...but so does everyone...a simple smile that you can flash at people but she has a real smile that no one can see unless they've earned it and when you do see that hidden smile its like watching the gates of heaven open before you and all you can feel is happy and longing for this moment to last. I have no smile like that...I have little flashes of fangs, smirks, grins, and little symbols I use to convince people that I am happy...when I am truly happy I have no such smile
-Her family....ok I'm not gonna linger too much on the family because in my opinion mine is better(thats kinda weird but you gotta defend what is yours right?) but hers is so much more....dignified, intelligent, cultured, quiet, calm.......I could go on and ong about teh differences in our families...I might do that one day *smirks* but they have all these qualities that I wish I could say I got from my family. We're loud, violent, street smart, socially approachable, and far from dignified!
-She could do no wrong...whenever she does something wrong like insults a friend or someone just out of jest she always catches herself by saying something like "Oh that was mean! Bad Ana!" and instantly she apoligizes...and thats just comical to my conscience who hasn't spoken to me in years.
-She is smart although she would like to trick herself into thinking that she is nothing special mentally she can do much more than she gives herself credit for(even in math!)
I've compared myself to her and I can't see why she likes me...actually I'm not sure why many people like me but the rest of you can be my slaves I'm talking about Ana now! *cracks up* oh yea I can see that now I've got a psychic beacon in my closet that has the control of people so they have no choice but to like me.......I like that plan! *starts building a psychic beacon* now where was I? right so I love Ana and I can't beleive I haven't appriciated her more and that about all I'm gonna say on this topic without making you readers out there blush.
Dillon has inspired me to write an alternet ending to the grand ol book Blood and Chocolate...by....uhh...*too lazy to go get book* umm...yea the title is enough! because no one ever really likes that ending but they accept it because its the only logical way for it to end...and logic isn't my department now is it?
Life has been pretty boring around the kidney lately since no one (with a blog/blurty that I give a damn about) seems to be in some kind of crazy insane situation that they need the help of the entire kidney to help them...I would say that I miss those days but now I look back on the stress and the agitation and I think I prefer being bored though i'm not sure yet...i know Jen and Anna would say "SHUT UP DAVEY YOU'LL JYNX THE PEACE!" those poor kids have enough on their plates as far as school and stuff.
Since this is my blog and this entry has lost the stuff that I was going to write about I'm NOW going to do random thoughts....
I was once called a mysterious, dangerous, lost puppy...*waits for the howls of laughter to die down form the peanut gallery* the person that said this said that it was these that made me attractive...right now I'm just a puppy...I used to be mytserious but now I'll tell you anything you want to know if you ask the right questions through the right method of communication (ex: don't ask me why I've got white hairs over AIM)...I used to be dangerous....you know how long its been since I've bitten anyone?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually kinda miss that...and I haven't fought in years...*chops off dustins head with a machete and jumps around throwing purple confetti* I'm still dangerous sure but I don't give off that dangerous aura...and lost...well I was definitly lost but now I've got my friends...the kidney is where I belong and I wouldn't have it any other way............so let me ask the blog readers...do I have some kind of appeal left?...I'm just in a very sudden moment of strangely low self-esteem and I could use some reassurance so just humor me huh?.......this has been Psycho Dave reporting have a good eveing 0:-)
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Too long since I've.....
Well, I was supposed to make an entry for valentines day but every time I try to post it it only posts the first part(I had to come back to it so I did a temp post) so now I'm starting from scratch so just bear with me and pretend its the 15th...you know how to do that don't ya?...use your IMAGINATTTTTTTTTTTION!...thats just creepy, James...
I planned out a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to do and by the time I had finished planning all of them, it was 3 'o clock so I had to call Ana and get things started. She tells me that there are some rental problems and she isn't allowed to go out...on Valentines day...with me.......*grumbles* I was pretty close to calling in the same ninjas that I used to rescue Katie from a retirment home...but thats a very strange and long story! She finally won her freedom around 4:30 I think it was and I picked her up at 5:15...ish. It really took me an hour to partially clean one room of my house (and you guys wonder why I never have anyone over!). We watched The Lion King 1 1/2 together...it's a pretty good movie...doesn't hold a candle to the original but its still pretty decent for a Disney sequel. The movie (some way some how) ran a hellova lot longer than I calculated (supposed to be a little over an hour long...and yet it ended at 7?!?!?!) So we had to run and go to our dinner reservation at this nifty Italian restaurant that I never knew existed. Good food...and yea...it was dinner...not a whole lot going on there...yea...SOOOOO back to my house we went and stayed upstairs for the remainder of the evening (my whole romantic candle theory got 'blown' out by the lack of time thing). All things considered...*sighs contently* I had a great night! very good day very good day indeed...oh yea and the gift aspect of this wonderful hallmark holiday...Ana got me this nifty dragon necklace...I think its pewter and the pendant is of a sword with a dragon wrapped around it and a small red gem in its hilt *beams and barks* ME LIKES IT! she also got me this lil box of chocolate truffles in the shapes of frogs...I got a kick out of it...little frogs and I got to mutilate them while enjoying rich chocolate! *waves flags* whoever thought that idea up gets major kudos!
...and now as everyone knows is coming...the reall stupid depressing part of the entry where I rant and rave about how I'm falling apart...brace yourself cause we're going in!
I find that I don't sleep alot. I never really have. Even when I was young I was a little insomniac(which probably explains my current height...that and I'm a little Sardinian) that went to bed around 11-2 and woke up a little after 6. I used to think it was impossible for me to sleep as much as my siblings who would sleep in till 2-4 in the afternoon on weekends. After a while though I began to do more stuff and slept a bit more. I began to sleep as much as a normal person for my age...and then I moved here and everything changed. I didn't sleep nearly as much and I was often afraid to. I've gotten pretty used to it now to be able to run on 2-4 hours of sleep but I'd still like to be able to have more. I have nightmares...all the time...they went away for a little while in 8th grade and 9th but they came back last summer with new faces of friends to hurt. I understand fully that, yes these are nightmares they can't hurt me they aren't real blah blah blah but that doesn't mean they still can't freak the hell out of me...and for those of you that know me well enough you'll understand what these dreams are about and why that effects me so. I don't know where these dreams come from or anything at all about why I still have them...and why I have them about people that shouldn't be in them...that doesn't make much sense so I'll fast forward to last week (wow...and that was supposed to make sense???). Last week I started being a bit more twitchy around everyone and I mumbled under my breath all kinds of weird things that popped in my mind. It was like being awake but dreaming at the same time. I got to watch my nightmares follow me around all day and eventually that began to effect my conscious mindset and I found myself to be more violent and morbid than usual. It kinda freaked me out, but then I realized something really great about it...I had been sleeping...not just sleeping but sleeping soundly...no memorable dreams, nightmares, or even thoughts. It was like resting for the first time and actually resting and regaining my strength and energy. Needless to say I freaked out about that but this brings me to now...I've been sick lately and I haven't slept a whole lot because of it(I'm weird like that...I can be in the hospital for weeks and gain weight and sleep maybe 12 hours). Tonight is gonna be my first test for what kind of sleep is going to await me tonight...I haven't been all that violent lately but maybe that was just my mind working the last bits of the nightmares away...maybe they're gone again and I can sleep? I dunno I have to wait until tomorrow to tell...
I'm bored with this topic right now...I don't wanna think about it anymore...SO! that means we're gonna chat (chat?...this is a blog not a chat room...I'm preaching not chatting...I'm gonna preach) about my last three days. As I already said, I was sick as a dog. came up with a bunch of great analogies for how I felt when people asked me
headache - I feel like a semi ran over my skull until it was ground into a powder so fine it could be used as instant soup mix
sore throat - I feel like a person that tried out sword swallowing and quickly discovered that they weren't cut out for it.
fever - I got a little scared when I hit 98 degrees...kelvin
That was kinda fun...I had more but I forgot them...I also had some fun fun daydreams while I was sitting back with loads of energy but afraid to move with my 103.4 fever...but most of those aren't exactly blog appropriate (and I'll curse up a god damn storm on this thing so you know those daydreams were screwed up...just think of the most messed up thing you can think of...and think of how I could corrupt it...but not in a perverted way...and yes I can corrupt things in other ways!)
SO I went back to school today...I almost wish I didn't...like 23% of me wishes that while 87% wishes that I went...SO in my first period class I show up just in time for me to take my Cyrano De Bergerac test...just for me and Zach Brown(who apparently was also absent yesterday) he took the test and remade it...now instead of just having to identify who said which quote we had to ALSO describe how that quote helps to support the main theme of the play...this is from 7:25 to 8:55 and you think I'm gonna be able to do that deep thinking stuff that early when I'm still a little sick? *cracks up* HELLLLLLLL NO! but I did. and for those of you that are mentally thinking "God this kid is an idiot! He thinks that he has 110% of himself. He's gonna bomb honors alg 2!" *points to the percentages above and shows math of 27 + 83 = 110* and just for you people...no I don't have 110% of myself...I have 500%! but most of me didn't care...I've got James, Vampiric James(aka Barthorn but don't call him that or he'll kill you!), Damien, Sinaria, and Pentus. 10% of Sin wanted me to come to school to visit Claidi and she convinced the rest of me too since of course I happen to be dating Claidi's maker. OK I'm finished now...the rest of my day was fine...not too much worth saying except I missed two days...came back on quiz day in acting and decided to take it...guess my grade...go ahead I dare ya...a 105 baby!...out of a thousand *head drops to the ground and rolls away* nah I'm kidding...and now I really am done...I swear...ok fine maybe just a little more since you asked for it!
random song lyrics for the day!
You closed your eyes; I cannot see.
You cut your wrists and it's me that bleeds.
Your broken heart tore me in two.
There's never anything I can do.
I'm the shadow you cast away
In this world of black and white
I am the gray
I don't belong but I'm everywhere
but it doesn't matter because
you don't care...
You wanna know who sings this?...I haven't a clue...pretty shitty lyrics anyways...they're just stuck in my head with three random beats that match teh song pretty well so I'm not sure which one is the real thing...these lyrics might be wrong too since its just a song stuck in my head from no known soruce...that would attribute to the crappiness...ok and NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW I'M DONE!
I planned out a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to do and by the time I had finished planning all of them, it was 3 'o clock so I had to call Ana and get things started. She tells me that there are some rental problems and she isn't allowed to go out...on Valentines day...with me.......*grumbles* I was pretty close to calling in the same ninjas that I used to rescue Katie from a retirment home...but thats a very strange and long story! She finally won her freedom around 4:30 I think it was and I picked her up at 5:15...ish. It really took me an hour to partially clean one room of my house (and you guys wonder why I never have anyone over!). We watched The Lion King 1 1/2 together...it's a pretty good movie...doesn't hold a candle to the original but its still pretty decent for a Disney sequel. The movie (some way some how) ran a hellova lot longer than I calculated (supposed to be a little over an hour long...and yet it ended at 7?!?!?!) So we had to run and go to our dinner reservation at this nifty Italian restaurant that I never knew existed. Good food...and yea...it was dinner...not a whole lot going on there...yea...SOOOOO back to my house we went and stayed upstairs for the remainder of the evening (my whole romantic candle theory got 'blown' out by the lack of time thing). All things considered...*sighs contently* I had a great night! very good day very good day indeed...oh yea and the gift aspect of this wonderful hallmark holiday...Ana got me this nifty dragon necklace...I think its pewter and the pendant is of a sword with a dragon wrapped around it and a small red gem in its hilt *beams and barks* ME LIKES IT! she also got me this lil box of chocolate truffles in the shapes of frogs...I got a kick out of it...little frogs and I got to mutilate them while enjoying rich chocolate! *waves flags* whoever thought that idea up gets major kudos!
...and now as everyone knows is coming...the reall stupid depressing part of the entry where I rant and rave about how I'm falling apart...brace yourself cause we're going in!
I find that I don't sleep alot. I never really have. Even when I was young I was a little insomniac(which probably explains my current height...that and I'm a little Sardinian) that went to bed around 11-2 and woke up a little after 6. I used to think it was impossible for me to sleep as much as my siblings who would sleep in till 2-4 in the afternoon on weekends. After a while though I began to do more stuff and slept a bit more. I began to sleep as much as a normal person for my age...and then I moved here and everything changed. I didn't sleep nearly as much and I was often afraid to. I've gotten pretty used to it now to be able to run on 2-4 hours of sleep but I'd still like to be able to have more. I have nightmares...all the time...they went away for a little while in 8th grade and 9th but they came back last summer with new faces of friends to hurt. I understand fully that, yes these are nightmares they can't hurt me they aren't real blah blah blah but that doesn't mean they still can't freak the hell out of me...and for those of you that know me well enough you'll understand what these dreams are about and why that effects me so. I don't know where these dreams come from or anything at all about why I still have them...and why I have them about people that shouldn't be in them...that doesn't make much sense so I'll fast forward to last week (wow...and that was supposed to make sense???). Last week I started being a bit more twitchy around everyone and I mumbled under my breath all kinds of weird things that popped in my mind. It was like being awake but dreaming at the same time. I got to watch my nightmares follow me around all day and eventually that began to effect my conscious mindset and I found myself to be more violent and morbid than usual. It kinda freaked me out, but then I realized something really great about it...I had been sleeping...not just sleeping but sleeping soundly...no memorable dreams, nightmares, or even thoughts. It was like resting for the first time and actually resting and regaining my strength and energy. Needless to say I freaked out about that but this brings me to now...I've been sick lately and I haven't slept a whole lot because of it(I'm weird like that...I can be in the hospital for weeks and gain weight and sleep maybe 12 hours). Tonight is gonna be my first test for what kind of sleep is going to await me tonight...I haven't been all that violent lately but maybe that was just my mind working the last bits of the nightmares away...maybe they're gone again and I can sleep? I dunno I have to wait until tomorrow to tell...
I'm bored with this topic right now...I don't wanna think about it anymore...SO! that means we're gonna chat (chat?...this is a blog not a chat room...I'm preaching not chatting...I'm gonna preach) about my last three days. As I already said, I was sick as a dog. came up with a bunch of great analogies for how I felt when people asked me
headache - I feel like a semi ran over my skull until it was ground into a powder so fine it could be used as instant soup mix
sore throat - I feel like a person that tried out sword swallowing and quickly discovered that they weren't cut out for it.
fever - I got a little scared when I hit 98 degrees...kelvin
That was kinda fun...I had more but I forgot them...I also had some fun fun daydreams while I was sitting back with loads of energy but afraid to move with my 103.4 fever...but most of those aren't exactly blog appropriate (and I'll curse up a god damn storm on this thing so you know those daydreams were screwed up...just think of the most messed up thing you can think of...and think of how I could corrupt it...but not in a perverted way...and yes I can corrupt things in other ways!)
SO I went back to school today...I almost wish I didn't...like 23% of me wishes that while 87% wishes that I went...SO in my first period class I show up just in time for me to take my Cyrano De Bergerac test...just for me and Zach Brown(who apparently was also absent yesterday) he took the test and remade it...now instead of just having to identify who said which quote we had to ALSO describe how that quote helps to support the main theme of the play...this is from 7:25 to 8:55 and you think I'm gonna be able to do that deep thinking stuff that early when I'm still a little sick? *cracks up* HELLLLLLLL NO! but I did. and for those of you that are mentally thinking "God this kid is an idiot! He thinks that he has 110% of himself. He's gonna bomb honors alg 2!" *points to the percentages above and shows math of 27 + 83 = 110* and just for you people...no I don't have 110% of myself...I have 500%! but most of me didn't care...I've got James, Vampiric James(aka Barthorn but don't call him that or he'll kill you!), Damien, Sinaria, and Pentus. 10% of Sin wanted me to come to school to visit Claidi and she convinced the rest of me too since of course I happen to be dating Claidi's maker. OK I'm finished now...the rest of my day was fine...not too much worth saying except I missed two days...came back on quiz day in acting and decided to take it...guess my grade...go ahead I dare ya...a 105 baby!...out of a thousand *head drops to the ground and rolls away* nah I'm kidding...and now I really am done...I swear...ok fine maybe just a little more since you asked for it!
random song lyrics for the day!
You closed your eyes; I cannot see.
You cut your wrists and it's me that bleeds.
Your broken heart tore me in two.
There's never anything I can do.
I'm the shadow you cast away
In this world of black and white
I am the gray
I don't belong but I'm everywhere
but it doesn't matter because
you don't care...
You wanna know who sings this?...I haven't a clue...pretty shitty lyrics anyways...they're just stuck in my head with three random beats that match teh song pretty well so I'm not sure which one is the real thing...these lyrics might be wrong too since its just a song stuck in my head from no known soruce...that would attribute to the crappiness...ok and NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW I'M DONE!
Monday, February 09, 2004
Quotes!
Alrighty then...I may have to take matters into my own highjacking hands for getting floof to the party...on a happier note...I'm reading Cyrano De Bergerac and it roxors!
oh god I'm beginning to use hacking lingo...*shoots inner hacker*...well I love this play so much that I'm going to post a bunch of quote from it right here for your viewing pleasure!
-Fair ladies, blossom and be radiant, fill out dreams with longing, soften death with a smile, inspire poetry--but don't judge it!
-I never appear in public with a soilded conscience, a tarnished honor, threadbare scruples, or an insult that I haven't washed away. I'm always immaculately clean, adorned with independence and frankness.
-Let's call it my vice. It pleases me displease. I love to be hated. If only you knew how stimulating it is to be under the murderous fire of hostile eyes, and how amusing it is to watch faces turn venomous with envy or sweaty with fear!
-Since I need a heart with which to suffer, if you will keep mine, send me yours!
-Christian "I love you!" Roxane "Thats the theme now eleaborate on it!"
-My love strangled, without effort, the two serpents, pride and doubt.
-The feeling that holds me in its merciless grip could be nothing but love! It has all the terrible jealousy ans somber violence of love,and all the unselfishness, too. How gladly I would give my happiness for the sake of yours, even without your knowledge, asking only to hear from a distance, now and then, the laughter born of my sacrfice! Each time I look at you, you strengthen my courage and bring forth soem new virtue.
-There is nothing more dangerous than a sane Gascon!
-Dying is no great matter. Whats unbearable us the thought of never seeing you again.
-Each page was like a petal fallen from your soul
-I have two deaths to avenge! Christians and that of my happiness!
-When you have such lovely eyes, why do you keep them cast down?
-Despite their terror of rotting on the ground, they give their fall the grace of flight!
-My soul is still heavy with unexpressed love, and I must die! Never again will my eyes delight in kissing each of your graceful gestures.
-My heart has never left you for a moment, and in the next world my love for you will be as boundless.........
-The nobelest battles are those fought in vain!
-When I meet GOd this evening, and doff my hat before the holy gates...on secind thought I don't like this quote all that much. It starts off strong but it is Cyrano's dying words and he dies before he can finish it...it's supposed to have some kind of sybolism I think...maybe like a "it doesn't matter what happens durring your life but be able to be proud of something before you die" kinda thing...I could probably think of better meaning but I don't really care
oh god I'm beginning to use hacking lingo...*shoots inner hacker*...well I love this play so much that I'm going to post a bunch of quote from it right here for your viewing pleasure!
-Fair ladies, blossom and be radiant, fill out dreams with longing, soften death with a smile, inspire poetry--but don't judge it!
-I never appear in public with a soilded conscience, a tarnished honor, threadbare scruples, or an insult that I haven't washed away. I'm always immaculately clean, adorned with independence and frankness.
-Let's call it my vice. It pleases me displease. I love to be hated. If only you knew how stimulating it is to be under the murderous fire of hostile eyes, and how amusing it is to watch faces turn venomous with envy or sweaty with fear!
-Since I need a heart with which to suffer, if you will keep mine, send me yours!
-Christian "I love you!" Roxane "Thats the theme now eleaborate on it!"
-My love strangled, without effort, the two serpents, pride and doubt.
-The feeling that holds me in its merciless grip could be nothing but love! It has all the terrible jealousy ans somber violence of love,and all the unselfishness, too. How gladly I would give my happiness for the sake of yours, even without your knowledge, asking only to hear from a distance, now and then, the laughter born of my sacrfice! Each time I look at you, you strengthen my courage and bring forth soem new virtue.
-There is nothing more dangerous than a sane Gascon!
-Dying is no great matter. Whats unbearable us the thought of never seeing you again.
-Each page was like a petal fallen from your soul
-I have two deaths to avenge! Christians and that of my happiness!
-When you have such lovely eyes, why do you keep them cast down?
-Despite their terror of rotting on the ground, they give their fall the grace of flight!
-My soul is still heavy with unexpressed love, and I must die! Never again will my eyes delight in kissing each of your graceful gestures.
-My heart has never left you for a moment, and in the next world my love for you will be as boundless.........
-The nobelest battles are those fought in vain!
-When I meet GOd this evening, and doff my hat before the holy gates...on secind thought I don't like this quote all that much. It starts off strong but it is Cyrano's dying words and he dies before he can finish it...it's supposed to have some kind of sybolism I think...maybe like a "it doesn't matter what happens durring your life but be able to be proud of something before you die" kinda thing...I could probably think of better meaning but I don't really care
Saturday, February 07, 2004
PROBLEM NUMBER ONE!
ok this party is still go...most everyone has RSVPed (good kiddies) but we have a situation...the star attraction of this party...the floof master-general has discovered that her mom is more of a psychotic bitch than we initially thought and has revoked her driving privelages...this pretty much means that FLOOFY NEEDS A RIDE!
...now normally i wouldn't do this kind of thing but seeing as how we never get to see her I have dubbed it insanely important that we get her to this party...so if anyone feels as though they might be able to drive out to get her for the party on the 13th...she lives about 45 mins away(hence our dilema) 405 Suncrest Ct, Wendell, NC 27591
HELP THE FLOOF!
...now normally i wouldn't do this kind of thing but seeing as how we never get to see her I have dubbed it insanely important that we get her to this party...so if anyone feels as though they might be able to drive out to get her for the party on the 13th...she lives about 45 mins away(hence our dilema) 405 Suncrest Ct, Wendell, NC 27591
HELP THE FLOOF!
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
one more thing!
Just so there is no confusion...an invitation did go out for this party and if you didn't get one then IM me and i'll be glad to tell you that you are coming or I'll make fun of you for being a loser...but DO NOT show up randomly or you will be hunted!
Monday, February 02, 2004
Here We Go Again!
first off...this entry will be insanely offensive to any and all that don't agree with me on this standpoint and so I am warning you now to stop reading after i give you this one last bit of info...
THE GATHERING FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH OF FEB AT ANA'S IS FROM 7-10:30...all other info is in my last entry or can be restated simply by asking me...now on to the wonderous thoughts that run through my mind...
Last night was a very interesting gathering...Jill was throwing the annual football thingy...whats it called again?...a...Superbowl?...I had way too much money bet on this game and thankfully my team won...the downside is that my dad's idea about allowing me to bet was it would be my money if we lost and the money we won would go to a college account...so yea...can't touch it...never even saw it...damn...
along with watching matt and zach jump around screaming we had the additional drama of a troubled kidney...that just sounds funny...Our lovely hostess, Jill, had decided not to invite one of my personal favorite members of the group, Vampi-chan. I found this out the day of the party but Matt and Zach had already verbally abused Jill about it and I was stuck with third in line picks. I asked why again and again but not once was a good reason given and so I asked her to invite Katie but she would not. I teased her about it during the party until she got pushed over the edge...this resulted in a 30 minute period of being locked in her room with SB and Dillon. Usually I'd be the first person to try and comfort but when I'm the antagonist I leave it to the other hundred professionals of the group. This is getting rediculous(sp?) I spoke to vampi about it and she says she was a little upset about it but eventually got over it and didn't really care so that made me feel like shit but I don't care about that. This whole thing had an even bigger thing behind it of Jillian's recent alienation of the kidney. Jill...I have no idea whats up with you but this has been going on for quite some time. I wanna know whats going on in our head and what you're planning on doing because if you continue on this path......you'll end up leaving us and thats the last thing I want. *sighs* OK I'm done doing this...I know I probably shouldn't have done this on the blog but no one really reads this other than the people it involves(aka the entire kidney!) anyways so i don't need a bunch of comments saying "BAD DAVE! attacking Jill form a place where she can't retalliate!" or something like that because I will just delete those. Besides...its about time that this was discussed among the group on a mass scale.
...now then...back to that oh-so-exciting party...Everyone seemed a little out of it....most of us males had stomach aches or were tending to the guy from Operation(the board game) and his stomach ache...Many of the girls had headaches or cramps so this was a truly entertaining time...
Aside from all of this insanity I had a good time last night...and I'm sorry Jill...I really just want everything to go back to the way it was...oh yea one more thing...I need to know if you guys think I should invite Thomas(Floofy's bf) to the valentines thing since he goes to AHS and gets to see her almost as little as we do (poor poor guy)...so yea...those that read this...i need imput...the rest of you I shall hunt down like the illiterate dogs that you are!...that was fun!
THE GATHERING FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH OF FEB AT ANA'S IS FROM 7-10:30...all other info is in my last entry or can be restated simply by asking me...now on to the wonderous thoughts that run through my mind...
Last night was a very interesting gathering...Jill was throwing the annual football thingy...whats it called again?...a...Superbowl?...I had way too much money bet on this game and thankfully my team won...the downside is that my dad's idea about allowing me to bet was it would be my money if we lost and the money we won would go to a college account...so yea...can't touch it...never even saw it...damn...
along with watching matt and zach jump around screaming we had the additional drama of a troubled kidney...that just sounds funny...Our lovely hostess, Jill, had decided not to invite one of my personal favorite members of the group, Vampi-chan. I found this out the day of the party but Matt and Zach had already verbally abused Jill about it and I was stuck with third in line picks. I asked why again and again but not once was a good reason given and so I asked her to invite Katie but she would not. I teased her about it during the party until she got pushed over the edge...this resulted in a 30 minute period of being locked in her room with SB and Dillon. Usually I'd be the first person to try and comfort but when I'm the antagonist I leave it to the other hundred professionals of the group. This is getting rediculous(sp?) I spoke to vampi about it and she says she was a little upset about it but eventually got over it and didn't really care so that made me feel like shit but I don't care about that. This whole thing had an even bigger thing behind it of Jillian's recent alienation of the kidney. Jill...I have no idea whats up with you but this has been going on for quite some time. I wanna know whats going on in our head and what you're planning on doing because if you continue on this path......you'll end up leaving us and thats the last thing I want. *sighs* OK I'm done doing this...I know I probably shouldn't have done this on the blog but no one really reads this other than the people it involves(aka the entire kidney!) anyways so i don't need a bunch of comments saying "BAD DAVE! attacking Jill form a place where she can't retalliate!" or something like that because I will just delete those. Besides...its about time that this was discussed among the group on a mass scale.
...now then...back to that oh-so-exciting party...Everyone seemed a little out of it....most of us males had stomach aches or were tending to the guy from Operation(the board game) and his stomach ache...Many of the girls had headaches or cramps so this was a truly entertaining time...
Aside from all of this insanity I had a good time last night...and I'm sorry Jill...I really just want everything to go back to the way it was...oh yea one more thing...I need to know if you guys think I should invite Thomas(Floofy's bf) to the valentines thing since he goes to AHS and gets to see her almost as little as we do (poor poor guy)...so yea...those that read this...i need imput...the rest of you I shall hunt down like the illiterate dogs that you are!...that was fun!
