The World 'o' Davey

I really shouldn't have to apoligize. This IS my blog but I feel as though my last entry(which I will not delete so I can go back to it for a reminder on later dates) needs some kind of apoligy attached to it. So yeah...forgive me if I've wronged you somehow through that entry...it's because of the dman mood swings I've been having lately. I wanna take a test to see if I'm bipolar but I'm told that it's just a written test and there is no physical way to monitor something like that...plus I don't take pills so even if I am bipolar there is nothing I'd do about it. I'm going to dismiss that last entry as a bad day followed by a very interesting day. Today was a boring day of just recovering from yesterday. Nothing really happened and I'm thinking I'm ok now...this religion thing has yet to be resolved and no one seems to be able to offer me a solution that I like yet so...let the problem remain...I don't really care...I've got other people to take care of!


~Definitly NOT Pat~

Damn I'm such a hypocrite!I've had entire entries dedicated to ending the use of emotional masks and yet I continue to partially use mine. Today was Ana's birthday and it started off in the worst way any day for me starts...with nightmares...I told everyone I didn't sleep last night but thats not true...I slept for a bit...woke up...and never went back to sleep...it was the worst its been since elementary school...I almost lost it when I woke up...it took everything I had to not scream when I finally came back to this world. I guess my mind felt that yesterday wasn't bad enough for me and decided to bring back the things I hate most of my life...yeah that must've been it...let me start off with a summary of why yesterday sucked...

...to start off the day I slept in...that was nice...I got to wake up around 9 and then I had some french toast for breakfast and right after that...IIIIIIIIIIIIIII got to work on homeworks while doing chores while my mom yelled at me to set up my new computer in two different places at once(she couldn't decide) and while I was doing this she rushes me to clean up after it and get ready for confirmation class with mom, Kelly, cousin Anthony, cousin Sam...that class gives me an idea of why I'm atheist. I don't even take it seriously anymore. My mom and kelly got pissed at me in a hurry and soon they had decided that I'm "not ready for this" and literally kicked me out of the church...I was fine with it and ran off to godspell...the only problem...Kelly is still mad at me...not really mad but "disappointed"...I don't believe in their faith which they have decided would be a good idea to shove down my throat and they're disappointed that I think its shitty? but its Kelly...I love Kelly and when she's pissed at me about anything...even if I'm not totally at fault, I feel like I'm this horrible monster for it...

...I went to godspell and tried to forget things but then as soon as i got home my dad and mom jumped on my case about how, even though I was let go today, I STILL have to go to class...great way to toy with your unbalanced son! ((right around now I re-read the entry and realized that Katie would die just from all the jumps from poor grammar to no grammar)) So I was talking with Ana on the phone...we have such a confusing relationship that it makes me dizzy trying to understand. I was trying to be happy but I was too upset and next thing I know she's been told to get off the phone........I was silently begging her not to go but of course she did. I tried to get to bed right after that and 'dream away the world' and I did...I forgot all about confirmation and computers and instead I had people dying and love fading...I woke up at 3:15-3:30 ish...I dunno exactly when because I woke up and couldn't stop the wasted tears(one of my cardinal crimes) for a while before I could finally think...Then I didn't want to get back to sleep and decided to walk to Ana's house...

...it was her birthday today...I walked the distance between our houses to give her the ring I got her before she even got to school...I managed to make it there on time as well as think about a lot of stuff...by the time I got to her I was hyper and 'happy'. We went through the school day which was uneventful about pretty good as far as my school days go.

...later today I went out to dinner with the Worley's and Jenwhit! That was pretty fun but it really helped me to realize how much I don't fit in Ana's world but I'm not talking about that right now...I just wanna get this whole religion thing straight...I'm atheist...I've got my reasons...Leave me alone about it!...I dunno why I bothered to put that...you guys don't bug me about it...it's my family...I dunno whats wroung with me right now...I'm just gonna disappear for a little while...spend a little time alone at lunch and things like that...i think I'm just gonna fade out for a bit to let everyone see some things clearly...I make no sense right?...good...thats how I'm feeling...

...Ana makes me feel better...like I could melt into her touch and it's all better...she deserves all teh sweet things i did today and more...You're wonderful Principaca


~Pat~

If marc gave a rat's ass about my blog he'd have warned the hell outta me by now. We got report cards today...strangely enough I'm discontent with my grades. I have a 3.6 GPA based on this (weighted) quarter. For most people this is impossible but since I'm in Paideia my grades are divided by 5 and not 4. I got an A in acting(of course) and in comp apps2, a B in Earth Science(if I did any homework I could've had an A easy!) and then I've got a CC in Paideia. I'm climbing up there. I've begun doing more work...alot more work. I decided that my schedule for next yera should be a little bit easier so I edited it. The new one goes like this

1st semester

honors paideia 11
honors chem
honors alg 2
latin2/creative writting/acting 2

2nd semester

honors paideia 11
honors physics
Pre calc
latin2/ creative writing/acting 2/ap bio(all of these are electives or backups and I dunno when they'll be used!)

I've been pondering why I'm so sad nowadays and I think I've figured out why...aside from the obvious of major Ana withdrawal...its because I'm superman!

*laughs* ok well that’s my analogy...I love helping people and I have this strange talent for it…it’s a wonderful feeling, being able to know that you are the only person that can make someone smile when they are in the worst situations life can throw at a teen. However I think I've recently discovered that I have no idea how to act around people when there is absolutly nothing wrong...everyone seems so happy and carefree that I'm not sure I belong around us anymore. I've been very negative lately but I think things are beginning to look up. Floofy is back online (MORE BETTERERER RPGS!) and best of all...ANA IS UNGROUNDED!

I've missed her so much...there's no way to even be mentally intimate at school...well physically...sure thats nice...but also equally not capable of happening at school and right now I'm in a long-term mode to feel people on a mental and emotional level. Its sucks not to be able to be alone at school...I hate it so much! *sighs* but now Ana is back and we can be together *beams* Her birthday is monday...I haven't a clue what to get her but I'm working on it...I'll have to go shopping saturday to pick up everything...

I've gottafigure out what I'm gonna do about my 4th period class...I can be having the greatest day of my life but an hour in there will ruin it...I'm gonna ponder that while I work out and then...and then sleep...I can sleep...and not only sleep...I can dream...real dreams...totally weird and random image kind of dreams *sighs happily* things are definitly good right now

Today is me and Ana's(grammar problem there I know it!) 6-month anniversary!...I'm not really sure if that means a whoooooole lot to the world on a whole but it definitly means that Ana and I have become the second longest relationship I've ever been in! it really doesn't feel like it's been six months though. I still feel like its a fresh new feeling, every time I see her its something new and warm. Like when you just start going out with someone and you're just learning what they're like. I discover new things about her daily (today it was that I can't influence her into doing something against her will...wow that sounds like I tried to rape her huh?) No...I was gonna ask her to talk to Skyler...call me crazy but for some reason I felt compelled to talk to him yesterday. Turns out that when I don't have some reaaaaaaallllllyyyyy great and recent reason to want him dead we can be civil. Don't get me wrong I'm still an anti-Skyler nazi. But after all the stuff I've done to deal with the problems he's created...I haven't helped at all and my only left over option is to try and work with him and consider his feelings. This could be painful for both of us! but yea I was beginning to ask Ana to talk to him...and I couldn't get out the right words to ask and decided to drop it...I know she doesn't wanna and I'm not gonna ask her to do anything she doesn't wanna do(cept maybe study 0:-).

I've been spending every forth period reading old RPGs (I finish my projects like a week in advance and have no choice but to wait for the idiots to finish up and present them). I found an unfinished RP between Kiss(Vampi-chan's chara) and Damien(MEEEEEEE)...we've decided that it's time to finish it...the thing is...we started it when Damien was dating Sam but now he's been with Kat for months(kinda ironic with the timing of their break up and mine...I think my break up with Vampi WAS the reason that Damien and Sam broke up) So we'll be trying to continue that one and maybe start a few others...perhaps we could do one from the past when Jace and Damien worked together on something *evil grins* ohhhh that'd be fun!

*sighs* its friday and Ana is still grounded because her teacher decided to give her a test on wednesday and then take thursday and friday off so she has to wait till monday to get the score that WILL set her free! *growls and bares fangs at math teacher*

rachel gave up AIM for lent...Floofy is having computer troubles and had to get a whole new desktop(should be up an running 30/31 of this month)...and Vampi hates doing group RPGs...those three are the master RPGers and without them...there are no RPs *cries* soooooooo bored!

yeah thats a pretty meaningless title I just happen to be listening to some music right now *head bangs to Building a Mystery* yep...I'm a dork *beams* I have had some pretty interesting revelations lately...I actually found a logical path that says that doing good things will only hurt me in the end...sad part is that I didn't stretch anything to get there. What was another good discovery?...OH YEAH!...MY FAMILY THINKS I'M GAY! only Tina has actually said it but all of them are acting weird around me. Apparently the common opinion around here is that Ana is a beard(in this terminology a beard is a girl that a gay guy dates to try and convince the world that he is straight...have I mentioned that my family sucks!) and I'm actually batting for a totally different team. *blames the Vampi-chan for this* what else? what else? ANA IS ALLOWED TO COME WITH ME TO WSS ON THE 27TH!(all that was written with shift just for Anna)..umm...my gardes are looking pretty good right now:-/ I dunno I really need to try harder...I read All Quiet on the Western Front when I should've just gotten the cliff notes! see I'm becoming a good kid! O:-)...yea...this is a short entry...I'm gonna kill it *kills it*

ok the first time I wrote that title I wrote "quizes". Don't I feel stupid now...anyways...I took a bunch of quizzes and this is the results of em...i hope this works...oh yea and I know that lots of these quizzes were meant for girls to take but I don't give a damn since all teh cool ones were for girls :-P

What kind of Shadow are you?

You are a forest shadow. Your essence is that of
the tree or beast that casts you upon the
earth. You feel a purpose to be in balance
with the cycles of life and are wise and
beautiful in your submission to the justice of
Mother Nature. You are peaceful in nature and,
though you feel small, your spirit is precious,
strong, and mighty as the (green)forces with
which it is affiliated. (please rate my quiz
cuz it took me for freaking ever to create)


What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

What is your Chinese element?

You are the chinese element of Wood. People who
are under the element of wood are practical,
focused and like to learn. Wood, you are a
natural leader, but you also like to control a
lot, you're never still and especially hate to
lose. The color of wood is blue/green and your
symbol is the dragon. Spring is the season in
which wood shines, and it's months are
January/February. Your weather condition is
rain. Wood is the direction east, and your day
is Thursday, while your planet is Jupiter.
Animals under your element are usually scaled.
People under you are the Mongols. Your sense is
sight, your taste is sour, your sound is
calling and your virtue is benevolence. Your
organ is the liver. You were created by Water
and you control Earth.


Which of the 5 Chinese Elements Are You?
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This one is funny...what kind of energy are you?

Your Energy is Pink. You have achieved a perfect
balance between spiritual awareness and
material existence. You are usually
affectionate and warm, showing compassion and
love for others. Others find you genuine,
cooperative and friendly. You are a
humanitarian and you possess a deep
understanding of life. You may aspire to
philanthropy, or you may find yourself heading
or volunteering for agencies that create change
for the good of the whole. You are a leader
and are willing to take on much responsibility.


What color is your energy?
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What kind of eyes are you?

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."


What type of eyes do you have?
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How would you murder?

You'd carve them up with your chainsaw. I like your
style, you show much promise. Join me?



How would you Murder?
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What do you truly desire?

Peace. You Truly Desire Peace. Just relaxing
somewhere calm with a light breeze against your
cheecks is our ideal of pefect. You don't like
to start fights, but instead, end them without
using violence.

PLEASE RATE


What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
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Your wings

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla


What kind of dragon are you?

Your an electric Dragon! Well, Well, Well, Speedy!
Electic dragons are just do darn quick, which
means you must be quick at something. Whether
its running, swimming, or answering questions,
you are super speed. But of course, you have a
craze for video games or computers. You can
play amazingly at any game or at least try to.
Go you!


What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE!
WHAT KIND OF ANGEL ARE YOU?

Ok. You are one hell of an angel. You are a
vampirish angel. You murder in the night, and
are quite proud of your achievements. You have
a naturally blood thirsty and malevolent mind.
But that's just you. You are dark and powerful,
if a little blood thirsty. You are both and
angel and a vampire. But you will never be
either. You feed from the innocent, and glide
away from the world of mortals. You are unique,
and have a gift for poetry. You are
manipulative, and are cunning and quick minded.
You are a sharp person. One that should never
be under estimated, and if you are, that person
will be your next feed. Congrats. You are
certainly original. Extremely rare and one of a
kind.

But you might want to lessen on the blood. You
might destroy the world at this rate.


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
brought to you by Quizilla

yep...as the title relates...I've got nothin' to say!...ummm apparently I should stop posting about how great Vampyres are because even i got pissed at how creepy I made myself sound when I re-read that last entry...I even left myself a reminder comment(yep...i left a comment on my own blog:-P ) ummm...lets see...Dilly left for NYC yesterday...I hope he stays ok...ummm...I went on a field trip today to a planetarium...here're some quotes:

"I don't like that constellation being a shepard so instead its a double scoop ice cream cone. You were stupid and held it sideways so the top scoop fell off" -The college student doing the presentation

"I like to think that Orion is holding a bow and is about to shoot Taurus in the FACE with an ARROW!" -same cool guy

"Have you ever had sex with an elf?" -none other than Mom

Its been a fun day...I'm gonna hate doing that damn project though it should be better than this decade one *kills off Mrs. Jumonville* umm...after we got back we hung out and I almost jumped out of the second story window...we had someone on the gorund with a camera to videotape it but when Adam called attention to me he took some photos of me with my legs dangling out teh window like i was gonna jump...That was kinda fun...after school I went to the FBLA(Future Business Leaders of America) LAN(Local Area Network) party...pretty much a come-and-play-violent-games-with-other-computer-nerds...it was very fun I played this game called warcraft with zach and chris was helping me to get started...for soem reason he failed to inform me that zach could construct a gigantic armada of airships that can blow the hell out of anything...I suppose you can guess what I did...first I saw the ships...then I scattered my troops and movable building all over the map and waited for him to try and hunt me down...he was doing a good job except for the last thing I sent after his units because it was a useless and defenseless building...it was over...but I don't think I did too bad for my first try at the game! anyway...now I'm waiting to go to matts house for dinner...his cousin is cooking pasta for everyone...i can't wait to try it out!...

...I still miss her...


~a much stranger Dave than you will ever see again~

I can't explain (and I doubt that anyone else can) how those wonderful creatures that haunt our imaginations can be so captivating. In every legend of Vampyres it has been a creature damned to darkness and cast out by nature itself. A creature so vile yet so beautiful that they could enslave the very soul of humans. Always so much better than human, but damned all the same. Everyone knows that I am a Vampyre fanatic but you guys don't really know the extent of my love for these 'demons'. I've wished everyday of my life that I would meet one and they would know how to change me. Even the greatest human life wouldn't hold a candle to the life I could lead as an undead. The silent beauty, the dark grace, and that constant air of elegance. Its enough to make anyone a little crazy. I've been reading and writting and watching Vampyres since I first heard the word and I have begged for them to be real. I used to spend hours at a graveyard and whisper to the shadows as though one of them was watching me. Oh how I wanted them to be able to hear me. I'd bargain my very soul for the simple fantasy of becoming something...something better than human. I think everyone has that dream. Humans are so dull, so weak, so wrapped up in their own existance to see the real world around them and how it has become a trap that ensnares each of them from the moment they are born. Humans have destroyed themselves and have done so to such an extent that they still live in their own prisons so they can destroy future generations. Its already too late to stop this sick cycle and so humans have to resign themselves to this fate and be content with what they can gather. Simple and temporary pleasures that can never last. Everything that is beautiful must fade. That, is possibly the most attractive thing about the Vampyres...they are perfect and remain perfect forever. They never have to suffer age or sickness or injury. They are immune to nature itself and that is why they are damned by it. They avoid Flowing water because it has an ingrained desire to wash them from this world. Sunlight is the food of all life but they feed on life itself and so the sun does scorn them. Life.....blood is life...the true damnation of their being comes from this. They are without life and are forced to leech it off of others. The bloodlust is their hunger for more life. As their existance continues beyond the life of what they have consumed they need more or will simply stop. First they go insane with the hunger and eventually, they are unable to feed. They wither away and eventually become spirits. The spirit of a Vampyre must be powerful indeed because it still has control on the physical realm. Ghosts. The spirit may drift for millenia until blood is restored to its body which is what the more violent cases of 'paranormal activites' truly were.

They are my fantasy. My desire. My hope and dream. I don't want to be a human...I never have but I long to be able to hold life in my hands like they do. It really is a shame that they are just my fantasy...they can never truly rescue me from life so I'll sit back...and work...and 'live' in this perpetual existance that so many souls have carved into me...but I'll be damned if I don't enjoy every moment I can!

I've been saying that things aren't fair a lot lately. It's not fair that 2nd period has double homework in Earth Science tonight; it's not fair that certain classes come so easy to certain people and other have to go to special tutor just to manage a D; It's not fair for people that are doing the right thing to be punished. I'm a little pissed off today for two reasons

1) I'm not allowed to kill a certain weasel
2) Ana got a 78 on the test that she needed to do well on to get ungrounded :'(

I can't ellaborate on my newest favorite person to picture dying a horrible death so I'll just jump ahead to the fact that this sucks that I can't see Ana STILL! She tried to get better at it...she studied and felt comfortable with the material and then her teacher says that while he was grading the tests he got so pissed off at the grades that EVERYONE earned. Seems that if everyone is doing poorly there is something wrong but I can't judge since I'm not in the class. *sighs* on top of all of this I really wanted to go to a reptile and amphibian day at the museum but it looks like everyone is busy...kinda sux for me because all the other things going on are going to see a movie I don't wanna see and going to see Rachel's band at six strings (saturday form 12-2 if I'm correct). I'll go to six strings I guess. I'm still really pissed that I don't get to see any snakes anytime soon now. This has been Dave whinning like a spoiled 5 year-old that didn't get his way and I'm finished...don't bother leaving a message telling me to get over it...i know

storytime is back again! This time I plan on extending this into a really great idea I've got. It's a totally new world of vampires that I'm creating...forget all the rules and histories and family trees of darkness...this is coming from an entirely different end of the spectrum! But until I make it into something readable I've got the intro...meet...umm...Bruce!


A shadow of the room quivered and awoke with a start. A man suddenly became that shadow and looked into the darkness of his room before he remembered where he was. “Just another dream.” He muttered to himself before lying back down and trying to get a few more moments of rest. After an hour of lying in a silence broken only by the constant breathing of the man, did he rise to prepare for the day he had just dreamt about.
The face staring at him through the bathroom mirror was a tired boy’s which he remembered as what he really was compared to the world he was about to face. A simple 24 year-old, just out of college, and beginning an internship with a law firm. As he dressed, he faintly recalled his dream of going to meet his new employer for a breakfast meeting and being thrown through the window of the restaurant. This, he thought to himself, is not a good sign. Grabbing his brief case, he left his apartment building to begin the short walk to the restaurant his dream had told him to visit.
Upon seeing the simple café, he paused for a moment to force his thoughts onto things of relevance to his job and not his forgetting to shave. The windows of the little coffee house reflected the world that passed it by and it seemed to give little notice. His thoughts lingered on the idea of staying outside and never going into that meeting but he knew this was a fantasy of his nerves creation.
After taking a deep breath he began to march across the street. Only after taking a few steps did he realize he had forgotten about the traffic that reminded him by hurtling his body through the glass windows and directly on top of the table he was to eat breakfast at. Glass shards seemed to stick out of every region of his bloodied body. A wry smile crawled across his face as his dying thoughts passed. I knew I should’ve stayed in bed.

I had a very good weekend...which I'm officially declaring as 'over' right now even though its still sunday but yea...recap time!

Friday I got to go to Enloe's diversity festival thanks to Matt being such a nice guy *hugs a Matt plushie before realizing how weird that is and hiding it* he gave me, Jill, Rachel, and of course himself a ride there...it took us awhile to find the place so we showed up JUST as his thing was ending...we literally walked through teh dors of teh school as Jen adn Corey walked out of the auditorium. It made me a little sad but I've seen the dance befoe and Dillon says that he messed up a bunch so we just kinda pretended that we weren't late *evil smirk* Jen got her friend a b-day gift from the Idian booth and Rachel got some beads form the Africa booth. Its kinda funny how Africa always ends up as being considered a single culture...like all africans are blacks in loin cloths and mud huts. But anyways...we went into the gym where we met up with a bunch of Dillon's friends and apparently some of Rachel's middle school friends. that was pretty neat to see. According to Rachel it was just like middle school with the fun and playing around so I enjoyed being able to see what other peoples lives were like then...kinda makes me regret the way I lived my life but it was only three years and I have time to make it up. We went to get some 'international food' later on and I got some fried cheese...because you can't find those in america! rachel and Matt got this pineapple coconut thing...Dillon and me were a little scerred of it and decided to draw chalk outlines of each friend that tried it (and therefore died...becoming a chalk outline) but after awhile Dillon tried it and I was all alone...that was a very sad way to start my weekend..............I'm glad that didn't really happen...So after everyone else tried the stuff rachel got annoyed at me and tried to use her spoon like a catapult and fling it at me but its arc was too high and it flew overhead and across the room. So she decided to try and put some in my drink. Later on we went back to the gym and ran around, danced, stage fought, had hot pretzel sex.....wait...I don't think we did one of those...yea we didn't run around.......anyways me and dillon decided that it'd be funny to stand in front of the GSA (gay-straight alliance) booth with our arms around each other while we read pamphlets...another one of the beautiful things about Enloe is we got zero strange looks from that. Everyone there is so accepting...I hope that is a trait our entire generation might develop one day...but that was pretty much the high points of the evening...

*yawns* ok well maybe I'll just blog about friday for now...its late...I'm tired and apparently in some kind of growth spirt(i say I'm growing sideways but no one beleives me...yet) so I should go to bed now...but two last things...my mom was kinda enough to spend $35 on me to get 3 months at the K2 gym and 1 month at the nautilus fitness center downtown(that one takes place as soon as i'm 16) and on Saturday I got to see Ana again and it was so wonderful that I don't think I have the vocabulary(nor does the english language have the words) to describe what I felt so maybe I will just sum up that day with

-I went with Ana and her family to see The Passion of the Christ
-we hung out at her house until dinner which was great
-dessert was delicious and provoked Adric to make plenty of perverted comments(it was a cake topped with cherries)
-I love her more than anything right now...words limit me to saying just that

well kids its been fun but I gotta scoot. MUCH LOVIN! byeeeeeeeee!

~Cassanova~

I got a letter in the mail today. Apparently it's from someone called the "Gato" hmmm I haven't a clue who this person is but they wrote french all over the back of the envelope...she wrote "I adore you. You are perfect. You are my puppy." *smiles from ear to ear* this Gato is a very sweet girl indeed. The letter wasn't really a letter but a list of things she misses about me...here're a few

2. She misses his puppy-dog eyes that make her melt.
9. She misses the way he kisses.
12. She misses the way he always makes her feel better.
15. She misses his fangy grin.
20. She misses his adorable pout.
22. She misses his kindness.
23. She misses how sweet he is.
26. She misses hearing him break out into random lyrics.
32. She misses the peace and calm she feels when she's around with him.
35. She misses the way he accepts her the way she is.
46. She misses how he looks at her when he thinks she doesn't notice.

It was a pretty long list...I don't think I'd be able to ever put my finger on definite reason I miss her so much...just the feeling of something missing...someone gone from right here *holds my hand over my heart* I hate this! I want her back now. She left me a little note at the bottom of the list that says she can't understand why I love her so...it's because I really don't deserve her...she's so much better than me in so many things. I'm not even gonna mention the looks dept. because everyone knows she's gorgeous but she is exposed to all this culture and great stuff form all over the world...I've got my parents influence in me and the north...thats about it and that is pretty crude stuff...I feel kinda like I'm a pauper thats fallen in love with the princess and through some miracle I've managed to win her heart as well. That might be why I can't stand to be away from her because I never know when she'll wake up and realize how much better she is than me. *waves around the letter* and I can't get over how this handwritting looks almost typed! *chuckles* I miss you Gato...and I love you too much for this


The puppy ^^

I was listening to some metallica and I find that I disagree with most everything they say and I still enjoy what they say though. So I started comparing this to some kind of world wide thing and realized that more people should be able to do that. Just listen and enjoy the fact that other people can look at things from a different point of view and draw different conclusions. I love that fact! I often write about it in my essays at school about how people need to have their freedom to see things differently and make different opinions about their surroundings. Of course I don't like it when people disagree with me. Just like any human, I feel that what I think must be right and so I have debates with friends about everything I think and feel. It's great being human and I just wanted to have a look at that and say that more people should be able to accept that people are different and whats right with you may be the most wrong thing in the world to them. So now that we've had this garbage of philosophy we can move on to me being my not-so-average self................

I want to write...I feel like I should be bursting with some kind of poetry or short story but I never seem to get to it and then when I've got these long moments of being bored I decide to work out or just rot...speaking of working out I think my body is finished being good and I wanna switch up. Like during puberty my body hit this jumpstart where I was pumping with hormones that could let me lose fat and gain muscle just by sitting around and now I've gotta work harder, longer, and more often. That just sux I see why people go through mid-life crises. If I can already notice that my body is hitting a slow point at age 15 I don't want to imagine 40 *shudders* thats a big fear of mine. I've got no problem getting my ass kicked by someone with skill or some gigantic brute or falling out of a plane or being attacked by a cancerous shark! but the slow decay of time?...that scares the living hell out of me. Everyone in my family ages very quickly. My dad started losing his hair in his late 20's and my brother's is already thinning (luckily I've got my hair from my mom's side ;-) ) Most all of them have knee/shoulder problems and everyone has some kind of wonderful genetic diesease(another great reason for me NOT to reproduce ever). So I'm pretty much thinking right now that I don't have the metabloism to be a cute guy as much as I'd like and if I am to ever reach that level I'm gonna have to work my ass off....

...speaking of working my ass off I'm not sure I blogged about what my acedemic(did I even spell that right?) plan is for next year. I am at about par as far as my classmates are concerned. Most all of my friends are in a math course above me and many of them are worlds smarter *cough* rachel *cough cough* so I've decided to test my mettle and take on a workload that I know I can't handle to see where my breaking point is...it's been a very long time since I've snapped and I think by doubling up on my honors math courses and beginning AP science courses...I'm thinking 1st semester should be hardest...something like

honors alg2
honors chem
honors eng11
latin2

second semester should be something like

honors per-calc
AP chem(or maybe bio)
US history(probably acedemic...i'm not sure if cooper would sign the papers for me to advance to honors...he doesn't think I can handle it right now so I'll have to prove myself to him)
and I'm not sure about what my 4th class will be...maybe creative writting or psych

So as long as I stick with picking something similar to this sched I should snap sometime during the year and discover exactly where my breaking point is...I'm gonna start trying to be a better student...I've actually started enforcing this theory already...I've done my homework and I'm starting to read that stupid book, All Quiet On the Western Front...you might think its a classic work of lit but I suppose I'm just not in the mood to appriciate the subtle way this novel describes people being blown up, burned alive, die slowly from mustard gas, get limbs amputated and are forced to suffer the psychological tragedy that ensues.......call me crazy but I'm just not in teh mindset to have my happy mood ruined by this *sighs* so my motivation to read and answer questions about it is somewhat lessened than it would be for me to do Earth Science homework (which I love to teach!)...I'm hoping to end the year with something similar to a 3.4(which is possible for me due to my paideia-ness...each classes letter grade is worth .2 GPA points instead of .25) actually...now that I think about it a 3.6 would be straight B's...but I'm not getting that i don't think...not this quarter anyways...but I never know as far as finals....o000ooo that reminds me! MIDTERMS ARE COMING UP! *beams until I notice all the glares I'm receiving form peers* Well I'm sorry butI just love the way this whole midterm thing...I love how a single test can make 20% of your grade...25% in EOC classes I think. I've got a pretty short list as to why I love em

1) I've always tested well(except on that damned 7th grade writting test...but its was me in 7th grade so I'm just gnna pretend that didn't happen :-P)
2) These tests are worth so much that they can balance my lack of homework grade
3) It's just fun to watch people that freak out about the testing squirm

Yeah I'm heartless when it comes to watching peopel have trouble with something I enjoy...even if you're female but then I have the bad habit of pulling a Grinch-rehab and grow a heart three sizes larger to help them out...I'm probably gonna need help in some kind of tutoring thing next year so I shouldn't be boasting so I'm gonna drop this topic now.

I had s'more violent stuff run through my head today in comp apps and I don't know where they came from. I had a wonderful day and just suddenly I was very pissed and I shouted random insults at people and mumbled threats under my breath. If I wasn't me I think I would've worried Megan a little. But when I realized what I was doing I stopped and forced myself to read some Harry Potter to distract myself. On the bright side I've been getting enormous amounts of sleep lately. Last night was the worst nights sleep I've gotten all week and it was 6 hours! 6 FUCKING HOURS! sorry I'm a little excited about that. I would've been thrilled to get 6 (peaceful) hours in 3 days a month ago. That's probably why I've been so hyper lately. I'm getting so much sleep and my body has adapted to getting little to no sleep so I've got some excess energy....wish I had someone to burn it on......that was seriously a typo...I realized I typed that like two seconds after I typed it and I think I'm gonna leave it up there though...its a nice addition to this blog...some pleasent perversion *sighs happily* oh yeah the gentleman pervert...thats me *laughs*